As I move into what I hope will be the pre-publication stage of my writing life, I pondered whether or not I needed a website. So I asked around, hoping to get some feedback from other authors.
HA! what a dumb question sniffed the several dozen writer-webmasters that answered my query.
A website is a must, they all agreed, an ABSOLUTE MUST, and you need to go to Blogger right this instant and get you a blog going. A successful writer--according to ALL the experts (see above)--needs a website, or at least a blog, to keep their readership informed about current articles, upcoming publications, booksigning tour schedules and imminent appearances on Letterman.
Uh....er....okay.....so, why do I need a website again?
To build a readership, dumbass. Now, will you please sign up for my webinar ?
Well, no, sorry, but I did decide to put together a website. After all, these were the "experts" right? The successfully published elite, certainly. Right?
Well, no. After slogging through about a half-dozen mostly-dreary and appallingly self-absorbed bores I decided to check out the background of some of these "writers" dispensing advice to "fellow writers". At least three quarters of them haven't yet been published, and the rest are still nursing their maiden offerings, often self-published curios.
A website is a must, they all agreed, an ABSOLUTE MUST, and you need to go to Blogger right this instant and get you a blog going. A successful writer--according to ALL the experts (see above)--needs a website, or at least a blog, to keep their readership informed about current articles, upcoming publications, booksigning tour schedules and imminent appearances on Letterman.
Uh....er....okay.....so, why do I need a website again?
To build a readership, dumbass. Now, will you please sign up for my webinar ?
Well, no, sorry, but I did decide to put together a website. After all, these were the "experts" right? The successfully published elite, certainly. Right?
Well, no. After slogging through about a half-dozen mostly-dreary and appallingly self-absorbed bores I decided to check out the background of some of these "writers" dispensing advice to "fellow writers". At least three quarters of them haven't yet been published, and the rest are still nursing their maiden offerings, often self-published curios.
And then it occurred to me: HEY! I can do that!
But I wouldn't do that to you guys. After all, you've made it this far! You've navigated the treacherous waters of my consciousness stream and still haven't drowned. Pretty impressive, considering most of it is sewerage.
So here's my promise:
Instead, I want to keep you on your toes. I want to engage you, amuse you, do naughty things to your brain when your body isn't looking.
Let's be honest: I want to sell my book. This isn't complicated. I can only sell my book if people think: Heh, I like the way this guy writes. And I can only make you think you like the way I write by writing something I think you'll like.
I'd better stop now before I confuse myself, but you get the idea.
So here's my proposition, I hope you'll take me up on it: subscribe to my RSS feed or sign up to get Wordslingin' delivered to you by email. I won't spam you, and I'll never bore you. I might make you gasp in horror on occasion, but from what I hear that's really good for the digestion.
And I'd like to hear from you, too! Feedback, accolades, raspberries, the occasional "Meh". Let me know how I'm doing. Bolster my ego or bust my chops, I don't care (he lied). I need to know. After all, I plan on publishing the next Great American Novel, a book that will transcend the generations and become immortal. Or at least help pay for weed. And I can't do that unless enough people decide to flush their hard-earned money down the toilet by purchasing my drivel.
It's either that, or I'll be forced to sell my dogs to a cosmetic company for use in live medical experimentation. And then y'all would just feel horrible.
Thanks for reading! You may now return to your regularly-scheduled programming.
But I wouldn't do that to you guys. After all, you've made it this far! You've navigated the treacherous waters of my consciousness stream and still haven't drowned. Pretty impressive, considering most of it is sewerage.
So here's my promise:
- No bleating posts about my writer's block.
- No begging for you to "download" my "e-book" which is actually a five-page PDF no longer than a typical magazine article, full of empty cliches.
- No article-length "reviews" that are actually poorly-disguised blowjobbery for some affiliate link.
Instead, I want to keep you on your toes. I want to engage you, amuse you, do naughty things to your brain when your body isn't looking.
Let's be honest: I want to sell my book. This isn't complicated. I can only sell my book if people think: Heh, I like the way this guy writes. And I can only make you think you like the way I write by writing something I think you'll like.
I'd better stop now before I confuse myself, but you get the idea.
So here's my proposition, I hope you'll take me up on it: subscribe to my RSS feed or sign up to get Wordslingin' delivered to you by email. I won't spam you, and I'll never bore you. I might make you gasp in horror on occasion, but from what I hear that's really good for the digestion.
And I'd like to hear from you, too! Feedback, accolades, raspberries, the occasional "Meh". Let me know how I'm doing. Bolster my ego or bust my chops, I don't care (he lied). I need to know. After all, I plan on publishing the next Great American Novel, a book that will transcend the generations and become immortal. Or at least help pay for weed. And I can't do that unless enough people decide to flush their hard-earned money down the toilet by purchasing my drivel.
It's either that, or I'll be forced to sell my dogs to a cosmetic company for use in live medical experimentation. And then y'all would just feel horrible.
Thanks for reading! You may now return to your regularly-scheduled programming.
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